Earlier this year, I went on a date with a man who told me he had a thing for Asian women. We were sitting across from each other at a table in a fancy restaurant and he stood up to do a head-to-toe scan of me. I am sick of being fetishised because of racist stereotypes about “small and compliant” Asian women. Credit: Stocksy. I told myself to run. Here was yet another man with what is not-so-jokingly referred to as Yellow Fever: the lazy and discriminatory hyper-sexualisation and fetishisation of Asian women, primarily by white men, solely based on race. When I tried to break it off with him, he texted: “I hate you. Thankfully, there are thousands of gorgeous Japanese, Chinese and Korean girls in Sydney, so I will be okay. This is not unusual. I have spent most of my adult life expending psychological and emotional energy fending off men like him.
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For Years, I Was Vehemently Against Dating Asian Guys—Even Though I’m Chinese
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For instance, she put up a post on why Asian women should only date white guys and others of herself saying things like, “I want a white guy in.
By Gretchen Livingston and Anna Brown. Since then, intermarriage rates have steadily climbed. All told, more than , newlyweds in had recently entered into a marriage with someone of a different race or ethnicity. By comparison, in , the first year for which detailed data are available, about , newlyweds had done so. The long-term annual growth in newlyweds marrying someone of a different race or ethnicity has led to dramatic increases in the overall number of people who are presently intermarried — including both those who recently married and those who did so years, or even decades, earlier.
Overall increases in intermarriage have been fueled in part by rising intermarriage rates among black newlyweds and among white newlyweds. At the same time, intermarriage has ticked down among recently married Asians and remained more or less stable among Hispanic newlyweds. Even though intermarriage has not been increasing for these two groups, they remain far more likely than black or white newlyweds to marry someone of a different race or ethnicity.
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He hates it when I do this. So do I, really. We live in San Francisco, so this dip is as common as the hills.
A large body of sociological research has found that in North America, young Asian men are twice as likely as Asian women to be single.
I mentioned it to Leslie, which led to a long-winded conversation about dating and marriage and gossiping Vietnamese mothers, which in turn led to Leslie asking me to share a little on my experiences. Although I love my culture and speak Vietnamese, I am mostly American in my values. And values are where it counts in relationships. I am hard-headed, ambitious and probably a little too honest to fit the mold of a traditional Vietnamese wife.
I find that Caucasian men tend to understand this a little bit better. Feminism is making headway in Asian countries, but family dynamics have not changed that much, unless you are looking at a 1. Interracial dating brings its own challenges outside of racism and xenophobia. No matter how many generations your family has been in the United States, most minority families are very tight-knit. As Americanized as I am, I still respect my parents and discuss major life decisions with them.
My siblings and I are very close, talking weekly if not more often. That closeness has brought problems in the past. My ex would frequently ask me why it mattered what my parents thought or how my brother would approach a problem.
I’m An Asian Woman Engaged To A White Man And, Honestly, I’m Struggling With That
You hate Asian men, they insist; you hate your own child. You hate yourself. I save these messages in a folder on my computer to document the abuse. Whenever I upgrade my laptop, I copy them over, little packets of poison I must keep and carry forever. It was a moment when Asian-Americans were celebrating as a community, yet here was a hate message plummeting out of the blue into my inbox.
During my teens and early 20s, I was vehemently against dating Asian guys. When friends tried to pair me up with the one Chinese guy in.
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When Asians say they’re not into Asian men
There are many myths and stereotypes when it comes to dating asian guys. Some are completely outlandish and some are, well, a little more spot on. Multiple articles and studies discuss how cultural stereotypes of Asian men may make them less attractive to women of all races, including Asians.
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we’ll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer – no Kindle device required. To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? Are you a black woman attracted to White men, but despite how much they may stare from afar or act friendly, you never get asked out on a date?
Or perhaps you struggle with meeting White men in the first place? Chances are, you are one of the many Black Women who inadvertently give White men the red light. I used to face the same conundrum, until one day it hit me. It wasn’t that White men didn’t date outside of their race, after all a large percentage of White men interracially date and marry Asian women.
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Written by Andrew Kung. All opinions expressed in this article belong to the author. Beauty is a new section of CNN Style. I always knew that, as an Asian American man growing up in the United States, I wasn’t as desirable or “American” as my peers. As a kid, I never saw Asian men dating outside of our race, or with white women especially.
As an adult, I’ve rarely had a conversation about race without it slowly turning toward relationships. Yes, many Asian women date white guys.
But when I do, I mostly stick to shows with a focus on romance. Whether in reality shows like Love Island and The Bachelorette or fictional series like The L Word and Modern Love , I am constantly finding women like myself—women of color—left out of romantic lead roles. Instead of being on the receiving end of a healthy romantic relationship, they often play the friend, the roommate, or the one who is undeserving of healthy love.
The show follows Mickey, a young white woman living in Los Angeles who struggles with alcoholism and sex addiction. Despite her very apparent flaws, she has no problem attracting men and ends up in a relationship with a guy named Gus. The recently cheated-on Gus is newly single and still coping with his breakup. Like other men on the show, he takes a deep interest in Mickey, despite her chaotic lifestyle.
But when black and brown women tend to be chaotic in film, similar to Mickey, they are not successful in the world of dating or particularly sought after. Like many of the rom-com shows and movies I indulge in, Love is lacking in female characters of color.